Crippling self doubt, regret, depression, and Garfield
I do like SMBC, and i’m often surprised by the depth of their insights. Although I feel they could have ditched the last 2 panels and it would have been better – I just like the idea of a Garfield wracked by regret embarking on a neurotic mission to grow so large he encompasses time and space, like an orange stripy God.
Regret – It surrounds you, but like an invisible foe. When you look for it, you find emptiness. And yet it remains.
These words echo with me, because I feel regret strongly even for things which are really minor in the grand scheme of things. My mind pulls this perverse trick where it refuses to hand me a decent decision before the even, but plagues me with regret after it. I can’t help but consider the infinite possibilities of what could have been. And it does it for the most trivial things, including choices of desert. Not an easy thing to live with sometimes, when choosing between a fruit and a yoghurt can turn into an existential dilemma. It angers me too – I’ve lived an incredibly easy life, where the things I wanted pretty much fall into my lap, and I’ve been gifted with a useful selection of talents and been generally well supported along the way. And yet regret plagues me, uncertainty and malaise and indecision. All unwarranted, necessary. It’s like some shitty little corner of my brain thought, this person has it too easily, let’s fuck things up a little. Once in my life, I was in a situation which blew away that doubt. Where the complexity of quantum time collapsed into a single present, that was the only right and correct present for me to be in. That time has gone.